Jacquel Rassenworth and the Movie that Bombed (written on 9/1/2011)

In the year 2001, Jollywood had released several movies that turned out to be total bombs. These movies failed to capture the imaginations of people around the world, and even today, they would have been deemed “the worst movies ever made“. And that’s saying a lot coming from a decade that was dominated by rebellious troublemaking teenagers, singing high schoolers, and racist next-door neighbors.

And here we have Jacquel’s movie, which bombed of course!

Title: Jacquel’s Russian History

Synopsis: a 13-year-old girl meets the Romanovs and creates her own history.

Review: Given **** for “good, but this movie has flaws.”

Rating: rated PG-13 for teen angst.

Why it bombed: This movie was claimed to have some flaws, but it really should have gotten * for “this movie sucks! Don’t ever see it or rent it“, as everything in the movie was horrible. The movie ripped off an original storyline and the heroine was rewritten in such a way that it clashed with her true personality and angered many of her fans. The results were a filming and writing ban for the directors and producers and the destruction of many copies of the movie.

Well, there’s that. I don’t think we’ll be seeing the likes of this movie again anytime soon!

Jacquel’s reaction: You must have taken classes to give the movie a review this rotten! Have you no imagination whatsoever? I suggest that you go back and rewatch the movie and then give it an honest review. Your review is a disgrace to movie reviews everywhere.