Jacquel Rassenworth on the Last Day of January

Can you believe that it’s now the end of the month? Me neither! But I have some packing up to do, because we’re heading off to Sochi, Russia for the Winter Olympics!

Well, can’t say I’m excited. I hope that I don’t miss the Superbowl or the Oscars while I’m away in Russia.

That’s my last blog post for this month; I’ll see you in February.

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Jacquel Rassenworth on the Grammy’s

Official 52nd Grammy Awards Poster Art

Official 52nd Grammy Awards Poster Art (Photo credit: william couch)

I usually avoid the Grammys (because I’m not too bg on music awards shows as a whole, but Sarah forced me to watch the show anyway.

The show wasn’t too bad, but it could be better. For example, why the heck did Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis do the song “Same Love“??? Seriously!!! I was expecting “Thrift Shop” or “Can’t Hold Us“. Come on mow, people! It’s not about love, it’s about the music.

As for the Beatles, look for a blog post regarding them.

Anyway, Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons ended up killing the night for me with their spectacular performance. Also, Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, and Merle Haggard? Awesome! Daft Punk racking up a string of awards and Taylor Swift not winning anything? Faith in humanity has been restored!

But will I be watching the Grammy’s next year? Unless some singer I like gets nominated, not gonna happen.

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Jacquel Rassenworth on Martin Luther King Jr

English: Martin Luther King, Jr.'s signature.

English: Martin Luther King, Jr.’s signature. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

OK, I really hate to stay at home, since I missed the end of December due to a bad case of the stomach flu (thanks a lot, Laurette!), but by far, today is an important day

I have already written a post on Dr. King before, so it doesn’t make sense to repeat myself. I will, however, say that Dr. King believed that all Americans deserved their civil rights no matter who they were, and he spent his life fighting for those rights.

This is why we have too many issues with who deserves what rights today.

With so many American heroes out there, I am shocked that only three Americans get a special day devoted to them. Now you know.

I’m off to teach Laurette a lesson about showing some consideration for people other than herself.

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Jacquel Rassenworth on the Golden Globes

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey at the premiere of Ba...

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey at the premiere of Baby Mama in New York City at the 2008 Tribeca Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ok, so I’m more of an Oscars watcher and I really wanted to watch the 49ers game, but this was kind of important.

Anyway, the show wasn’t too bad, no thanks to Tina Fey and Amy Pohler, but it wasn’t very good either. The jokes were lame, the wrong people won, and to make matters worse, the best movie glorified slavery. (That made me angry more than anything else that night; not even Maddy could get me to calm down.)

Anyway, a non-Disney song won the best song award. Finally, some faith in humanity has been restored.

But I cut my viewing short to watch the memorial for Ariel Sharon, thus missing Woody Allen getting the Cecil B. DeMille award. Uncle Dan was upset over that; he was waiting for that all night. According to Shar, Woody Allen wasn’t there to accept the award. Thank you Diane Keaton.

But will I be watching the Golden Globes next year? Unless it’s a good host, don’t count on it.

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Jacquel Rassenworth on Ariel Sharon

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just so you know, I happen to have scores of relatives who live in Israel. Most of them live in Jerusalem. My dad was born in Israel, but I was born in San Francisco.

There you have it.

Anyway, my uncle Alexander Rassenworth sent out a huge post on Facebook announcing the death of Ariel Sharon, who was president of Israel. As we all know, he had had a stroke in 2006 and dropped off the face of the earth. I guess he felt that he had a good life.

And he was known as a tough guy who didn’t stand for any nonsense and tried to build up his country in the face of adversity.

So, fellow readers, please join the millions of people living in Israel who are mourning the death of a great leader. We’ll never see the likes of him again.

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Jacquel Rassenworth on the 2013 Entertainment Review

LEGO Marvel Super Heroes "Thor: The Dark ...

LEGO Marvel Super Heroes “Thor: The Dark World” poster (Photo credit: TooMuchDew)

My real-life counterpart has compiled this entertainment review, so here’s my spin on it:

Best movies:

  1. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  2. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
  3. Star Trek: Into Darkness
  4. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 (because if you can’t laugh at a joke about leeks, you can’t watch this movie!)
  5. Man of Steel
  6. Turbo
  7. Epic
  8. Thor: The Dark World
  9. Iron Man 3

My opinion: I agree with all but #6. Sorry, Claire, but snails racing just doesn’t cut it for me

Worst Movies:

  1. Warm Bodies
  2. The Lone Ranger
  3. Monsters University
  4. Despicable Me 2
  5. Grown Ups 2
  6. Planes
  7. The Croods
  8. Free Birds

My opinion: Somehow, I wonder if she has lost faith in the animated movies.

—–

Best books to read:

  1. The House of Hades
  2. The Divergent Trilogy
  3. The Fault in Our Stars
  4. Gone Girl
  5. The Ocean at the End of the Lane
  6. The Great Gatsby
  7. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
  8. Inferno
  9. World War Z
  10. The Hunger Games Trilogy

My opinion: Does she even read?

The book written by me that I have been touting all year:

  • Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever!

My opinion: I cannot see myself reading this book. It’s tasteless and boring. Plus, there is no magic in this book.

—–

Pop Culture

  1. 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who
  2. The Harlem Shake
  3. Grumpy Cat
  4. Duck Dynasty
  5. Google Glass
  6. “Selfies”
  7. “Twerking”
  8. Sharknado (don’t ask)
  9. Cool Ranch Tacos
  10. Rainbow loom bracelets

My opinion: Look for a blog post regarding seven of these things. I already did a blog post on Doctor Who.

—–

Out of everyone, I say that these people had had a great year. They are as follows:

  1. Lady Gaga: Congrats on making the fourth year on my list.
  2. Peter Jackson
  3. Pope Francis I
  4. Jennifer Lawrence
  5. Phil Robertson

Honorable mention: Ben Affleck (because he’s now the “old damn Batman”)

My opinion: Please take Lady Gaga off this list. She doesn’t do anything good, and she’s as useful as a soaking wet paper bag. #3 deserves the top spot. That is all.

—–

And yet, some of us weren’t so lucky. Those on my Wall of Shame in 2013:

  1. Miley Cyrus: Miley, we know you love to twerk, but please stop!!!
  2. Lamar Odom: How dare you break the heart of Khloe Kardashian!
  3. Paula Deen: Her racist ways cost her EVERYTHING!!

My opinion: #1, go to rehab. #2, shame on you. #3, give away your entire fortune to some Black people. We don’t got no time for that!

—–

Songs of the Year

  1. Robin Thicke‘s Blurred Lines
  2. Thrift Shop and Can’t Hold Us – Mackemore & Ryan Lewis
  3. Get Lucky – Daft Punk
  4. Justin Timberlake‘s album
  5. Reunited Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, 98 Degrees, and BoyzIIMen

My opinion: Uh, what’s with #6? And where’s Ylvis’s “What Does the Fox Say”???

—–

Big Events: And some big events for all of us to NEVER forget…

  1. Kanye West vs. Jimmy Kimmel
  2. Argo wins an Oscar
  3. Baby Prince George, son of Prince William and Kate Middleton (newest heir to the throne)
  4. Boston Marathon bombing
  5. Diana Nyad‘s swim
  6. sign up for Obamacare

My opinion: #1 was just flat-out funny, but they patched things up. #2, why should I care? #6, poor dad still can’t sign up.

—–

And now for a list of things I just didn’t like this year:

  1. Glee (still can’t stand the show!)
  2. family friendly movies (are they even necessary anymore?)
  3. Goyte’s Somebody That I Used to Know (WORST BREAKUP SONG EVER!!!)

My opinion: #1 needs to go, go away! #2 needs to take a break. #3 never should have been created at all.

—–

Yeah, we never saw this coming…

  1. Ylvis’ What Does the Fox Say
  2. Government shut down
  3. Teen Beach Movie
  4. Jonas Brothers pull the plug on their tour
  5. 30 Rock ends snowglobe style
  6. Google Glass
  7. Ben Affleck as Batman
  8. Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug (we all knew that he was Smaug, but this was just too much!)

My opinion: Why are the Jonas brothers even being mentioned? I hate them and I wish they would just go away. Who enlightened the end of 30 Rock? What the heck is Teen Beach Movie??? And lastly, frick! Smaug still scares the crap out of me!Thank you God, Peter Jackson, and Benedict Cumberbatch!

—–
And yes, we have to say goodbye to some notable people who decided to leave us in 2013. And some of them are on this list:

  1. Nelson Mandela
  2. Film Critic Robert Ebert
  3. James Gandolfini
  4. Cory Monteith a.k.a. Finn from “Glee”
  5. Mindy McCready
  6. Annette Funicello (Mouseketteer)
  7. Richie Havens
  8. David Cassidy
  9. Tom Clancy
  10. Paul Walker
  11. Margaret Thatcher
  12. Everyone killed at the Red Wedding on “Game of Thrones
  13. People who were killed during the Boston Marathon bombing
  14. And as always, the brave soldiers who died defending our country and everything it stood for.

My opinion: #1 deserved the top stop. Can’t believe that #3, #4, #10 are gone. And why was #12 mentioned? These are characters from a fictional story, NOT real people. Let’s quit living in your imaginary world and get in the real world, Claire!

—–

Anyway, that’s what I think of 2013. Now prepare for the second edition of the Dummy Awards, where I (once again) present the Dummy Award to the movies and actors who I think are very dumb to do whatever movie they did in 2013. Here we go!

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Jacquel Rassenworth on the New Year

New Year, New Moon

New Year, New Moon (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

Happy New Year!

Can you believe that it’s been exactly one year since I started off with this blog? Me neither! And in all that time, I never thought that this blog would take off like it did.

So once again, you can’t avoid me; I know where you work!

Anyway, for those of you who don’t know who I am, I am Jacquel Rassenworth, the biggest fandom junkie who walked on the face of the earth. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m the one who’s been invading your favorite books, twisting them up to suit my own twisted fantasies. You only have yourselves to blame for that.

Now, I’m off to do another year of destroying everything that you like!

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Jacquel Rassenworth wishes you all a Happy New Year