Stale Grapes News Post #1

Hello, and welcome to the first of many posts dealing with the Stale Grapes News Network. On this segment, I will be talking about a fake news which could very well be true, because the media just loves to sensationalize the news. I take the sensation away from the news and just state the facts.

Here we go.

One month summer vacation? Might be a possibility, one senator says
In a very bold move to get rid of old vestiges of childhood, a group of people are petitioning that summer vacation should only be one month, mainly in the month of July. The reason they claim is because most children are wasting time playing video games when they could be studying or reading books. They also believed that with less summer and more schooling, mostly kids today will probably stay out of trouble and be smart.

Yet, this idea is being met with opposition, mainly from parents and teachers, who believe that children should be allowed to have at least two months of rest between school year. “My son already spends already 10 months in school,” says an angry parent of a middle schooler, “and I’m not going to let some nutcase take away his summer vacation just because somebody thinks that children should not be allowed to play.”

It’s already bad enough that our children are obese and spend way too much time watching television,” says another parent, “but denying them summer vacation is just a slap in the face of childhood itself.”

This odd new law is being debated by senators right now; President Obama is expected to address this issue soon.


Park closes down after 15-year-old boy discovers homeless man has been living there

In a shocking new move today, a local park in the city of Jakin, Massachusetts has been shut down while the local police department and social workers tried to evict a homeless man who was last spotted urinating on a slide by a 15-year-old boy. Says the boy, whose name and address are being withheld for his protection, “It’s disgusting. Kids play on that slide and someone is using it like it’s a toilet. Doesn’t he know that that is wrong?

Police Chief William McKaplan also adds, “The man in question is a 45-year-old with an olive complexion, wavy graying brown hair in a long ponytail, and dark brown eyes. He was found wearing a shirt and some pants. This man is an obvious danger to our children and our community. He needs to be removed from the park immediately or a tragedy could happen.”

As of right now, he has no family to claim him, and police have been unable to get him to leave. Let hope that he goes away quietly, because the kids need their park back.


That’s all I have for this week, but be on the lookout for next week, when I have more shocking news that could very well be true.

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