Stale Grapes Network Presents “Why is Thanksgiving Still a Thing?”

The First Thanksgiving, painted by Jean Leon G...

The First Thanksgiving, painted by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris (1863–1930). The First Thanksgiving took place in Plymouth in 1621. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Thanksgiving to all those who are American citizens!

Or is it?

Well, I say that we need to take a step back and check our history because I’m confused here:

In 1620, a group of persecuted people decided to cut and run instead of compromising their ways with England. They boarded the Mayflower and ended up not in Virginia, but in a completely different place. Those people suffered and many died because they were not prepared to survive living in their new home.

Yeah, life was fricking rough back in the day.

The next year, an Indian named Samoset found the people wandering around, hopelessly lost. He set them up with his friend Squanto, who taught them how to grow food, build houses and how to survive life in their harsh new environment.

Under Squanto’s guidance, the Pilgrims (the Indians’ code name for the lost Englishmen) thrived, but they realized that they were never going to get to Virginia. But that’s ok, since they had found a better home to live in and no one told them want to do.

Hence, thanksgiving feast.

And the rest was history.

And how do I know this story? Because my mom’s grandpa came from a Pilgrim and one of the Indians from Plymouth, and he still lives there. He’s the one who told me the story that I’m telling you now.

So you know.

With that being in mind, should Thanksgiving still be a thing? Yes, because if it weren’t for the Indians, the Pilgrims would have all died out ages ago. Should we celebrate it? Yes, we should. Is football a part of Thanksgiving? Yes it is.

Now you know.