Jacquel Rassenworth on John Hurt

Yesterday, Maddy emailed me with the news that John Hurt had just died. This makes me sad, as I’ve seen him as War Doctor in Doctor Who and watched him die many times in various movies. (He eve died in Spaceballs, in case you forgot!)
And now that he’s gone, I’m sure that 2017 will be far worse than 2016.

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Jacquel Rassenworth on Alan Rickman

Severus Snape

Severus Snape (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once again, we lose someone we love to this evil thing called cancer.

I found out this morning that Alan Rickman has just died. at first, I almost forget who he was, seeing as I’m a horrible person who doesn’t pay much attention till the news as I should have. But when Sharatold me about who Rickman was, I found myself grabbing my hair and screaming at the top of my lungs. It’s like a part of my life is dead.

And to all of you who know him as Professor Snape in the Harry Potter books, I feel your pain.

Jacquel Rassenworth’s Open Letter to J. K. Rowling

(In which Jacquel expresses her disappointment in J.K. Rowling‘s newest revelation about Harry Potter)

Hey Ms. Rowling,

What the hell were you smoking when you said that Harry/Hermione should have been married??? What is wrong with you??? What? Do you NOT like Ron or something like that??? For someone who wrote the crappiest epilogue in the history of literature, you sure are doing a fine job alienating your fans.

Also, what are we supposed to do now? When last i checked, the hero NEVER gets the girl, as it has become much too cliched. How sad would it have been to have Harry marry Hermione and Ron end up miserable and alone! Nice story to tell our kids; if they’re sidekick and not the hero, then they don’t get the girl.

You are a troll and a hack who can’t even keep her mouth shut. Please, just let the Harry Potter story die and move on with your life! You have other things to do than to try to force your book upon the world! It’s not great literature; it’s just sloppy writing. You stolen the lives of millions of people, hours of their lives that they spent reading the books, hours that they’ll never get back. Thanks a lot, Rowling!

I also think that Harry and Hermione never would have worked, as they seem more like brother/sister than boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you’re going for the Jaime/Cersei dynamic here. (did I just say that??? I’m so stupid!! Excuse me while I go soak my brain in bleach to get that idea out of my head…)

Ah, now I’m back. Anyway, Hermione was popular only because of Emma Watson (not that I have anything against Emma, but I preferred if Hermione was played be a different actress) and as such, the directors felt obligated to make her seem smarter than the other characters, even giving her some of Ron’s words and deeds. That’s not cool; that’s Ron-bashing. I’ve seen way to many Harry/Hermione fanfics where Ron gets bashed to the extreme, so we don’t need to see that in real life.

You want to know what I think of all of this? Hermione never should have gotten married at all (unless it was to “a muggle”), Ron should have married Luna, and Harry should have died. That would have made more sense than what we have in the epilogue. (And she never should have created Ginny in the first place; she only existed to marry Harry and have him join the Weasley family)

So there you have it. And please, take my advice and just let the story go. What’s done is done, and you can’t go back and change anything. Let go of Harry Potter and find something better to do with yourself. I’m sure you can pilfer some other work and make some money.

Yours for the losing,

Jacquel Rassenworth

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Where is Jacquel Rassenworth? Surely SHE Can Save this Story! by Fonura

Well, while I’m very flattered at the prospect of me being in the Tyler Potter story, that deal isn’t for me.

Why am I saying this? Here are my reasons:

  1. I don’t do anything having to do with Harry Potter, and I think that the Tyler Potter story is just a harry Potter copycat. You know that.
  2. I don’t change the story around and make it better. I destroy stories. That’s how I operate.
  3. It’s better just to let a story die than to keep it on life support. Life support is very expensive and unless its your parents or relatives and their lives are in danger, don’t use life support to save your stories. Let that story die so that another (and hopefully much better) story can take its place.

I really wish that CVT would shut down the blog and let Tyler Potter die. She has better things to do than to try to save a dying story.

Thank you for your time.

Jacquel Rassenworth on the Tyler Potter story

Well, I (Jacquel Rassenworth) have a few things to say about this “Tyler Potter” character…

I don’t like him. Really, I don’t.

It’s not that I don’t like him, per se, but it’s this story that annoys me. It’s like someone decided to rewrite the Harry Potter story and put TYLER in Harry’s place. Then to make another boy kiss him is just disgusting. I mean, who writes stuff like this? Was it the work of some fangirl, or some gay person? Come on, people! We don’t have time for this!

Sounds like bad fan fiction writing to me.

Anyway, what I want to see is a silly story about Tyler, Marty, and Coco, not a Harry Potter rewrite. The writer of said story should expand upon Tyler and his adventures and throw out anything referring to Hayley Snape, Hogwarts, and other unsavory things.

We don’t want any more Harry Potter stories; the stories that are out there are just dumb and the original books are even stupider. Why would you want me in this mess in the first place when there’s more than enough crap out there?

Jacquel Rassenworth on Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, Shar, Maddy, and Scott will be mad at me.

Last night, I went to see the movie Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters. I tell you one thing, though, not as good as the first movie.

But what I do know is that the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series is just as good and yet much better than Harry Potter. The reason why I’m saying that is that

  1. Percy Jackson is about Greek mythology and Harry Potter is about witchcraft
  2. Percy Jackson is more relatable than Harry Potter
  3. Being a demigod is a lot more exciting than being a wizard

​Anyway, in saying all of that, I bet that given a few years, Percy Jackson could one day surpass Harry Potter in terms of popularity, fans, and even (believe it or not) readership. And be honest with yourself, why would you want to read some story about some silly boy wizard when you could be reading about a demigod. Demigods are cool.

Anyway, I’m still kind of bummed over the no fan fiction rule and I’m still fighting against Leslie, so if anything happens, I’ll let you know.

Leslie Harrington’s Response to an earlier quote about Jacquel Rassenworth

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movi...

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movie poster (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

Dear people who write fan fiction for Harry Potter, Twilight, Charlie BonePercy JacksonPretty Little Liars and The Hunger Games,

Jacquel Rassenworth belongs to my sister and me. Our parents did NOT give you permission to write fan fiction about her. So, I demand that you stop writing fan fiction about her and write your own stories. I will not tell you again.

Sincerely

Leslie Harrington

Also, stop harassing me about my issues!

 

Jacquel Rassenworth on what happened on May 1, 2011

President Obama confirms death of Osama bin Laden

President Obama confirms death of Osama bin Laden (Photo credit: k-ideas)

Two years ago, Shara emailed me the news that the worst human being alive since Adolf Hitler is dead. Sadly, I paid very little attention to the news, since I was preoccupied with the wedding of Prince William Wales and Kate Middleton at the time.

Well, all I have to say is this: if there are people in the world who love to hurt other people for no reason at all (religion is NOT an excuse), they deserve to die.

Too bad Harry Potter never got to kill Osama bin Laden; the Navy Seals got there first. Die, terrorist die!

Plus, he got what he deserved for September 11, 2001. Andrea Muty is having some fun kicking his butt right now.

Jacquel Rassenworth on May Day

Well, today is May Day, but I forced you all to read my dead story. I’m so bad…

Anyway, I’m ready to give you the scoop on the upcoming serials as well as the spoofs that I’m going to be starring in this summer.

Tomorrow.

Yeah, this summer, you’re all going to be trolled.

Now you know.

Jacquel Rassenworth on the Harry Potter parody

The Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody dus...

The Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody dustjacket. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Stupid, lame, and completely disgusting. I can’t believe I actually read this pile of crap. Please, for the love of God, don’t buy this book or rent it.”- Jacquel Rassenworth

Well, I never really said that, but here’s what I think of this story:

I’m not too big on parodies, as they seem to look like utter tripe . They deliberately changed up everything that you like and screw it up just to make a cheap buck.

But that’s not all.

I thought that the parody had some taste to it, but it felt dull and insignificant, as if the story did not want to be written. Don’t get me wrong, but I think that the author could have done a better job than what we have here.

Well, that’s all I have to say about this story. Please (don’t) read it.