Jacquel Rassenworth on Vampire Academy

Yokai Academy, the main setting of Rosario + V...

Yokai Academy, the main setting of Rosario + Vampire (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Following my rather poor review of the Lego movie (and angering cousin Laurette with that negative review in the process),  Uncle Frank cheered me up by letting me watch Vampire Academy.

My review: Well, its no Twilight, but this movie beats the pants off Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Southern Vampire Mysteries/True Blood by leaps and bounds (and that’s my evil personal opinion, which can never be disputed no matter what). But my main issue is that they try to make the girl strong, and I have an issue with “strong” female characters.

Other than that, if you’re 15 and older, DON’T watch the Lego movie. Watch this movie instead; you’ll be happier for it.

Jacquel Rassenworth on The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

City of Bones (Mortal Instruments)

City of Bones (Mortal Instruments) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Shar and Maddy are going to be GREEN with envy when they find out what happened last night…

Last night, I went to the midnight premiere of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones with Natalie, Sarah, and Marissa and the movie was great! Except I had to listen to a bunch of fangirls going crazy over Jace Wayland the whole time. I can’t stand that guy at all!

Anyway, with that being said, I must confess that I have never read the Mortal Instument series despite the fact that Maddy has gotten on my case regarding the books. (She’s read them now over five times, which is more than I can handle. I mean, look at how many times that Shar had to force me to read Beautiful Creatures! I’m just not a very good book reader, and I spent seven years trying to read the Twilight series!)

And you wondered how and why I’m on Team Edward to begin with, anyway.

Don’t tell me that I can’t watch the movie if I don’t like to read. (Maybe I should, just to do something productive.)

Wait for my full review on the aforementioned books before stating your case.

Leslie Harrington’s Response to an earlier quote about Jacquel Rassenworth

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movi...

Harry Potter & the Methods of Rationality movie poster (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

Dear people who write fan fiction for Harry Potter, Twilight, Charlie BonePercy JacksonPretty Little Liars and The Hunger Games,

Jacquel Rassenworth belongs to my sister and me. Our parents did NOT give you permission to write fan fiction about her. So, I demand that you stop writing fan fiction about her and write your own stories. I will not tell you again.

Sincerely

Leslie Harrington

Also, stop harassing me about my issues!

 

Jacquel Rasenworth on “The Host”

The Host (novel)

The Host (novel) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

OK, so I get tricked into watching the Host with a bunch of girls because it’s a “cutemovie. I tell you now, having an alien inside your body isn’t cute; it’s downright creepy.

Anyway, the movie is more than just a kid’s version of the classic movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Better yet, the main character must fight against the invading alien after being captured and in turn, she has to find her brother and the rest of the human race that hadn’t been invaded yet.

As for the love triangle, the girl likes one guy and the alien likes another guy. (That could be a problem) Also, far from being a Twilight lookalike, there is some fighting done over the future of humanity. The girl and the alien must work together to save the men they love and to heal those who have aliens inside their bodies.

There is also a twist in this story, but I won’t be giving it away.

But the only other things that I liked about the movie was the trailers. Here’s a few movies that I want to see:

  • Oblivion
  • After Earth
  • Star Trek: Into Darkness
  • City of Bones

Well, that’s all you’re getting from me.

Jacquel Rassenworth on the movie “Beautiful Creatures”

Cover of "Beautiful Creatures"

Cover of Beautiful Creatures

OMG!!! I just got back from seeing the movieBeautiful Creatures” and to be honest, I thought I would hate it because it looked like a Twilight ripoff. Boy, was I wrong!

The day went as follows: first, Maddy and Shara came to see me, and we all went to the movies. Maddy is dealing with some dumbass who insists on making life difficult for her became her mother is black and her father is white. Why do people have to be such idiots over who marries who? I already don’t like the whole gay marriage debacle, so why should we be tossing race into the mix?

And as for Shar, she tells me that her new friends are being taunted by some sick person who claims to have stolen their friend and  leaving cryptic messages all over the place. I mean, did this person take their cues from “Pretty Little Liars” or something like that? This is why kids can’t trust adults today. Where are the adults who could be stopping this stranger from hurting those kids?

Anyway, long story short, we get to the theater and there were these dumbassed kids wearing Harry Potter costumes blocking the entryway to the theater. I mean, hello, the Harry Potter movies have ended about two years ago! It should just fade away. After about 45 minutes of the cops showing up and dispersing them, we finally get into the theaters.

Here’s my opinion of the movie:

Although it appeared to be a Twilight lookalike, the story was great. I don’t believe that I could have enjoyed the movie, not since part 2 of Breaking Dawn. (Plus, I’m still trying to get over Alice’s fake vision of the battle. How dare she kill off my favorite characters!)

Plus, it was enough to wash the ickiness of “Warm Bodies” from my head.

Anyway, I suggest that you take your Twilight-loving friends out to see this movie. (Also great if you yourself love Twilight as well) But if you hate Twilight or know someone who hates Twilight, don’t bother.

I’m going to have to log off now, as Maddy and Shara are getting suspicious of my blogging activities. See you soon! (And if you have already seen Beautiful Creatures, let me know in a comment)

Jacquel Rassenworth’s Valentine’s Day Post

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

In celebration of the day a saint was executed for defending love in a time when it was forbidden, I have a gift for you all. Hope you enjoy.

Image created at GlassGiant.com

Well, as for the story itself, you’ll have to wait until I actually write it.

Jacquel Rassenworth on the movie “Warm Bodies”

OK, here’s the thing:

We’ve got this movie about a girl and a zombie. Rip-off of Twilight, much?

Anyway, all references to Twilight aside, the story contains references to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. (Side note: I don’t like that story, as it deals with teenagers killing themselves because they can’t be together; what message are we sending to our high schoolers?) The zombie boy’s name is R and the girl’s name is Julie.

Well, I have no plans to see the movie at all. In fact, I’m waiting for Beautiful Creatures.

If you’ve seen the movie, tell me what you think of it.

10 reasons why we shouldn’t give up hope for a Jacquel’s Russian History remake~by Starshelle

We really want to have a remake of “Jacquel’s Russian History“, and the fact that Jacquel Rassenworth has her own blog and other stories being written about her (all which aren’t as good as the original), we have listed the reasons why her story needs a remake:

  1. Jacquel can be reborn as the girl with a big imagination and a love of useless Internet memes.
  2. Jacquel Rassenworth…as her story should have been written is just about the worst idea that was ever created.
  3. Jacquel living in Forks and having a Twilight-like story is a rip-off of Life, Sin, & Blood.
  4. Jacquel Rassenworth Reborn is just a pathetic waste of paper.
  5. Jacquel’s depression is not “fake“, as implied by various blog posts.
  6. We really want to see Jacquel actually defeat Sereno rather than use the September 11 2001 attacks as a cop-out plot device.
  7. A remake of the story is long overdue.
  8. We want a tough Jacquel, not a weepy hose-pipe Jacquel.
  9. What if the year 2013 is the year that Jacquel Rassenworth FINALLY gets a decently-written story?
  10. To be honest, we’re tired of the fan fictions and crossovers with Jacquel Rassenworth in them.

Bonus: We hardly get to see the Romanov family, and to be honest, maybe Jacquel should study Russian History instead of the lame plot of her actually “meeting” them.

So there you have it. Hopefully, someone will pick up this story and write it.

Jacquel Says: First off, this article is stupid and stuff. Did the person who wrote it actually read “Jacquel’s Russian History” at all? Here’s my take on the list:

  1. Ok, so I’m hopelessly addicted to useless Internet memes and have an overactive imagination. Big deal!
  2. This story is already in the works, and yet, they call it stupid. THEY are the ones who are stupid, not the story!
  3. What is “Life, Sin, & Blood” about? I don’t know, as I haven’t read that book.
  4. To be honest, has anyone actually read this book?
  5. You people don’t know anything about depression!! Depression is a real disease that can result in suicide or worse. You people need to find someone who is dealing with depression and THEN come back and tell me what you think.
  6. The September 11 2001 attacks was NOT a cop-out plot device; in fact, it is one of the biggest national tragedies to date. How can you call the needless deaths of hundreds of innocent people a cop-out plot device? You are some of the most insensitive people on the face of the earth! (to be honest, I really don’t want to deal with Sereno in real life; I prefer to do that using my imagination.)
  7. If you wanted to remake the story, you would have done it by now. (plus the NaNoWriMo Novel “Magical Compositions” sucks!)
  8. So, you’ve taken to calling me a weepy hosepipe? Well, bub, I have news for you: I AM NOT ALWAYS DEPRESSED AND WEEPY!!!!! In fact, there are times in the story where I’m completely fine and everything is going OK. So why is everyone implying that my depression is fake and I’m a weak spineless crying fool?
  9. 2013??? Are you out of your minds??? The year 2013 is the year that Jacquel Rassenworth FINALLY gets a decently-written story? Who says that this year I’ll get a good story? BTW, whatever happened to 2002-2012?
  10. What’s wrong with me being in various other stories? That’s what I live for. (that, and some useless Internet memes) Plus, I just so happen to be a huge fan of Harry Potter, Twilight, Charlie Bone, Percy Jackson & the Olympians and Pretty Little Liars. Now you know.

As for the bonus, I can’t seem to sit still and read a book WITHOUT imagining myself in the story. Also, why would you want me to forget about the Romanovs, anyway?

In my opinion, “Jacquel’s Russian History” doesn’t need a remake. In fact, it really needs a different title and new storyline. Now, do you understand my meaning?

Jacquel Rassenworth on “Jacquel Rassenworth: The Serial”

Hmmm…not sure if that is even possible.

First off, I don’t have any secret friends; Sereno and Tammy don’t know about Maddy, Scott, and Shara. So, that’s settled.

Also, how can I be forced to go to Forks over a fake Facebook post? When last I checked, anyone who posts a fake Facebook post saying that a certain person has committed suicide can be sent to jail. Plus, I don’t get what the deal is with me having to leave home because of that.

I’m not even going to mention my idiotic cousin Jaime on this blog post.

Anyway, how did the author of the story decide to set me up with a gay boy? I think that this is insulting to boys everywhere. There are plenty of straight boys for me to hook up with. The writer is just destroying my story altogether.

If this story is published, I’ll never forgive them for writing it in the first place.

That is all.

Happy (Fictional) Birthday, Jacquel Rassenworth! (written 7/16/2011)

Once again, we celebrate the birthday of a trouble making girl named Jacquel Katherine Nichole Rassenworth, who has been destroying various stories since 2000. Originally the property of Jan Davies and Michael Irving Harlingson (Jan’s husband), her story was first featured in the movieWonder Circus“, in which she played a young girl named Jacqueline Williams, an orphan girl forced to work at a magical circus and her many adventures when she meets a young boy who ran away from his foster family.

After Michael’s death in 1994, his wife Jan created a novella concerning Jacquel Rassenworth, who suffers from depression after her mother’s death and eventually declines and dies when she is 13 years old. She had titled that story “The Keeper of the Citadel of Destiny“. The story received mostly good reviews, but some have said that it wasn’t as good as “Wonder Circus“.

After Jan’s sudden death in 1996, a man named Vance Russo took the story about Jacquel Rassenworth and rewrote it as a teen fiction / fantasy with Jacquel Rassenworth having some out-of-body experience and ending with her becoming a teen mom. He also injected many unnecessary elements into the story, such as Jacquel’s “coolness”, a deformed kid she ends up dating, and even a bit about the Romanov family. (I mean, haven’t these poor dead guys suffered enough? Enough with the Romanovs already!!!)

After the book “Jacquel’s Russian History” was published and a movie was released, the uproar over the story was so strong that the movie left the theaters after a two-week showing and the book based on the movie was burned and banned by many groups. The ensuing sequels also flopped and the book publishing company that published “Jacquel’s Russian History” was sued by Justine Davies in 2005 for a huge sum. Not surprisingly, Mr. Russo was found guilty of plagiarizing Jan’s book. He was sentenced to a ten-year book writing ban and the books he wrote about Jacquel Rassenworth were destroyed.

Janice may have stopped the “Jacquel’s Russian History” books for good, but she couldn’t put an end to the fandom that sprang up from the books. She was unhappy with the crossovers that JRH had with Harry Potter and Twilight, both of which she hated. Even worse were now the crossovers with Pretty Little Liars, Charlie Bone, Percy Jackson & the Olympians, and the Hunger Games. Despite her demands for writers to stop publishing fan fiction about Jacquel Rassenworth, the popularity of Jacquel Rassenworth has continued to rise.

Vance Russo has also impressed upon us the birthdate of Jacquel Rassenworth, which was July 16, 1987. July 16 was the day the Romanov family was brutally murdered in 1918, but Jacquel was born in 1987. Jan and Michael had set no definitive birthdate for Jacquel and she never celebrated her birthday in “Wonder Circus” because she had forgotten about it.

Janice claimed that Jacqueline was born on June 14, 1969 in San Francisco, California since “Wonder Circus” took place in 1983. She also claimed that Vance had used the year 1987 to coincide with the fact that the movie came out in 1987.

Whatever the drama over her backstory, Jacquel Rassenworth will continue to influence (and invade) many more fandoms. Now can someone PLEASE write a decent book series for this girl???